1990s Archives - David Jón Fuller

There’s no Killer Dwarfs box set, so I made one

Posted on February 3, 2020February 2, 2020

As recent Metal Monday posts show, I lately became a big fan of the Killer Dwarfs. I’ve loved their songs since first seeing the video for “Keep the Spirit Alive” waaaaayyy back in the winter of 1986-87. But it was seeing them live not just once, but twice, within a year in 2019 that got me hooked. I began searching out their back catalogue. Easier said than done! And sadly, there is no Killer Dwarfs box set. So… I made one.

Killer Dwarfs box ser — Homemade Killer Dwarfs box set by David Jón Fuller / Photo by Mike Aporius

To start with, I’d been fortunate enough to pick up their 2013 album Start @ One, and their 2018 live album Live, No Guff! at one of their shows. I bought Russ Dwarf’s Wireless at another show. But finding the Dwarfs’ earlier albums is something of a challenge.

The signature crate from the Killer Dwarfs’ popular video for “Keep the Spirit Alive,” in which the hapless Russ Dwarf suffers many misadventures.

I had never bought Stand Tall when it came out, despite “Keep the Spirit Alive” being one of my favourite songs, nor Big Deal, despite the brilliance of the video for “We Stand Alone.” However, thanks to searching out music stores and resellers online, I was able to put together most of a collection on CD. Stand Tall and Reunion of Scribes — Live 2001, were by far the hardest to come by.

Sometime around the second Dwarfs show I went to, in late 2019, I started thinking: of all the bands that have released box sets, who better than the Killer Dwarfs, whose signature crate would make the perfect case for it? But as mentioned above, there is no Killer Dwarfs box set. If you’ve searched for one online and ended up here, you already know that.

So, being in no way a carpenter or marketing genius, I decided to make one. Here’s how I did it.

Filling your Killer Dwarfs box set — the albums

Obviously, it’s not a box set unless it is in some sense “complete.” So, absent any bootlegs, I figured I needed:

The easiest way I found to get the recent CDs (i.e., released since 2013) was at the Killer Dwarfs’ live shows. (I’ve tried ordering other CDs through their Bandcamp site, but just cannot get it to work.) They really ought to sell their complete back catalogue at each performance (hint, hint).

The hardest albums to track down on CD were Stand Tall and Reunion of Scribes — Live 2001. Good luck finding either for less than $200! I found the first on eBay, eventually (search early, search often). The seller was in Russia, and it was going for around 10 bucks… so for that price, either it’s not a collector’s item there or this is some kind of copy — which, upon receiving it, I think it likely is. But the sound quality was fine and I have the original album on vinyl, anyway! I just wanted to have a complete collection to go in the crate.

The second hard-to-find album is one I have now owned three times. I reviewed Reunion of Scribes for Uptown magazine when it came out in 2002, but it wasn’t my favourite album, so I gave it away. (It’s a decision I rue now). Recently I tried many used record and CD stores, locally and online, to no avail. To make a long story short, I bought a digital copy from Russ Dwarf’s Bandcamp page, and then, ironically, found the CD for a decent price from a seller on Discogs the very next day — so I bought that too.

Designing a Killer Dwarfs box set

First, I figured out how big to make it. I chose to make it a cube with enough room to hold at least 10 CDs, to allow room for the entire Killer Dwarfs back catalogue, as well as a future album or two.

Then I had to figure out materials. I thought of building it around a plastic CD rack, but couldn’t scrounge one that would work. I decided to go with lightweight wood.

The crate from the video for the Killer Dwarfs’ “We Stand Alone” is clearly built to a different scale than in the previous music video, but it had a clearer image of the front lettering.

For the inner box to hold the CDs, I went with ¼-inch fir “good one side” plywood. For the outer appearance of the crate, I took screen captures from the videos for “Keep the Spirit Alive” and “We Stand Alone” and stumbled onto a workable selection of materials in my basement: ¼-inch wood panelling, which on its unfinished side looks like “crate” material, and wooden stir-sticks for paint that could look like framing.

Fortunately the folks at Rona were willing to sell me a bunch of long stir-sticks that were also ¼-inch thick, making the math of figuring out how the materials would work together way easier (and, it looked better than a thinner stir-stick like the ones I had).

I looked up online some ways to build small wooden crates, but to be honest, since I’m no carpenter (see above) and since the look of the crate in both videos, while slightly different, isn’t particularly finished, I didn’t go for any complex, jewellery box detail in the assembly. Let me say here that all the apparent blemishes and mistakes in the final look of my CD crate were TOTALLY INTENTIONAL AND AESTHETICALLY NECESSARY.

Anyway.

Interior CD box — Pieces for the inner crate of the Killer Dwarfs box set

Building a Killer Dwarfs box set

I cut pieces of ¼-inch plywood for the interior box. I cut them so the outer dimensions of that cube would be 6 ½ inches — so the top and bottom pieces were 6 ½ inches square, two sides were 6 ½ inches by 6 inches, and two sides were 6 by 6 inches.

Killer Dwarfs box set inner crate — The inner crate had to fit all the Killer Dwarfs albums on CD.

I always dry-fit pieces before I try to put them together since I am Not A Carpenter ™ and don’t fully trust that my designs will work before I put them together. Also, I was figuring this out mostly as I built. Lots of measuring and re-measuring. By the way, building a cube that is perfectly square on all sides when you don’t have a working table saw is SUPER HARD.

I painted the interior walls black.

I decided to add something a little extra on the bottom — a Killer Dwarfs logo. I found one online, printed it out large, and then scaled it to fit, using a geometry set and a bit of junior high algebra. Then I did the lettering on the wood in pencil as well as I could.

I scaled down and drew the Killer Dwarfs logo by hand.

After I had tweaked the imperfections in the logo, I painted it black. After it dried, I erased more of the visible pencil lines and painted a second coat.

I put two pairs of sides together with glue, and when that had set, I glued each two-side pair to the other and used elastic bands to keep pressure on the joints as they set.

Killer Dwarfs box set inside crate — I painted the interior sides black, and glued all the pieces together.

Then I glued the four-side construction to the bottom. The front side showed no joins, since I wanted to use the fake “slats” I would be adding to the sides to help hold the joined side of the inner cube together. To be honest, given the number of pieces of wood I would be adding and gluing, I’m not sure it would have made a difference. But since the wood was all too thin for me to nail, I wanted to make sure it had as much strength as I could.

Making the “slats” of the crate meant cutting the stir sticks so I could have a square frame, which would go over the horizontal slats.

Killer Dwarfs box set slats — I used long paint stir sticks to make the slats and “frame” of the outer crate.

I painted the outside of the interior box black where it would show through the slats. That was for the illusion of it being dark inside, as well as allowing the glue to hold directly to wood on both sides, instead of paint.

Killer Dwarfs box set slats 2 — I used elastic bands instead of a clamp to hold the slats tight while the glue set.

Once both sides were done, I started working on the bottom, using the 1/4 –inch panelling. It was just right for the dimensions I needed. In a perfect world I could have cut the tongue and the groove off the edge, I suppose, but it looked pretty good to me.

Killer Dwarfs box set back — I used tongue-and-groove siding, with the rough side out, to get the look of an unfinished crate.

The back and the front were also ¼-inch panelling, running horizontal. This duplicated the look of the crate, in my opinion, and let me cut the tongue and groove off the top and bottom for a more finished look on the top.

I put the back on first, partly because I needed to paint the front of the crate before gluing it in place.

Painting a Killer Dwarfs box set

For the front, I had to recreate the “DANGER / KiLLeR DWaRf / INSIDE / THIS SIDE UP” signage. I felt the lettering for the front of the crate would be much more difficult than just the logo, so I did it on paper first, using the images from both music videos.

Killer Dwarfs box set crate front draft — I worked out the lettering for the crate at the scale I needed based on what is visible in the Killer Dwarfs’ videos.

It’s not an exact replica. (And the crates in each video don’t match, either!) But I was pretty happy with doing a rough draft, because it took several tries (and a lot of erasing) to get it right.

I debated using the paper version as a guide only, and re-drawing everything on the wood. Then I thought: maybe I can use it as an actual template.

So I made copies, cut the shapes and letters out, and used that to get the lettering right. I still used a ruler to get the lettering as straight as I could, even with the paper template.

Crate front stencil — The photocopy of my original lettering made a pretty good stencil after I cut the shapes out with an X-acto knife.

Then I painted the lettering on the front of the crate. I did two coats.

Crate front lettering — The front of the crate took the longest to make, due to the lettering work and finding the right shade of red paint.

Once the front was painted, I glued it on. It might have allowed more stability to do the lettering afterward, but I felt it would be much more awkward to letter and paint on the assembled box.

I left the top until the end, in case I had to cut or sand down the top of the interior CD box to fit within the outside construction. (Did I mention how hard it is to make everything perfectly square when you don’t have a table saw?) As well, the wood panelling tended to have curves or warps in it. Even with the use of clamps when gluing it on, it was not perfectly flat. (TOTALLY INTENTIONAL.)

And, for the top of the crate, I decided to add a little extra. Leaving it blank would be more accurate to the crate in the music videos, but I thought it needed a Killer Dwarfs logo on it. So I stencilled the name on it and painted it to match the one inside.

Finishing touches

The final touch was to add some Russ-Dwarf-esque hands to the side of the crate. It was harder than I expected. I searched through used toys at the second-hand store, online makers of marionette parts, and eventually stumbled onto a hitherto unknown (to me) fandom, namely ball-jointed dolls. FINALLY, after racking up many a weird search result for “doll hands,” I found a supplier with two that looked like they might work.

I needed them to fit flush with the side of the box, so I used a mitre box and saw to get a nice, flat cut.

I also wasn’t totally happy with the colour of the hands as they were, so I painted them before gluing them between the slats of the side of the crate.

Now, for the finishing touch — I enlisted the help of my friend Mike Aporius to take some “official” shots of the finished product. As you can see, he made it look fantastic.

So, there you have it. Until there’s an official Killer Dwarfs box set, you’ll just have to make your own. But for me, at least, it was a fun project to work on for several months!

Questions? Comments? Have you ever concocted something for your personal fandom because it didn’t exist yet? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!

Metal Monday: Killer Dwarfs’ Start at One

Posted on January 6, 2020January 5, 2020

On Start at One, the Killer Dwarfs wail like the early 1990s never went away. As far as the album is concerned, it’s true.

Killer Dwarfs Start at One — The Killer Dwarfs recorded Start at One in 1993, but released it in 2013.

The Dwarfs originally recorded Start at One (stylized as Start @ One) in 1993 with the same band lineup as Method to the Madness: Russ Graham on vocals, Darrell Millar on drums, Ronald Mayer on bass and Gerry Finn on guitar. Unfortunately, it wasn’t released then and was, apparently, only available as a bootleg called Just Another Day. Blogger Carl Hose has more of the story. So for most fans, Method to the Madness was the last Dwarfs album before the band went on an indefinite hiatus. (That is, before some members reformed the band for a performance they recorded for Reunion of Scribes — Live 2001).

However, in 2013, the Killer Dwarfs released the album independently as Start @ One. (When the band signed with the EMP label, EMP re-released it in 2018.) So how does a heavy rock album recorded during the height of Grunge hold up in the 21st century?

Pretty well, actually.

Start @ One showcases the melodic songwriting the Killer Dwarfs displayed on albums like Dirty Weapons and Method to the Madness. But sonically, it’s more stripped-down, hearkening back to the style of their debut album.

The album starts off with two catchy songs, “Lonely Road,” and “Solid Ground,” before shifting into the slithering “Sky is Falling” that starts off with sharp, spare guitar riffs that keep grinding all the way through to the sarcastic-sounding chorus and calliope-infused end. (Yes, the calliope sound works, even if it’s a little weird.)

In 1993, not as many radio stations were playing this style of heavy rock anymore. But by the time the Dwarfs released Start at One, heavy metal and hard rock had had a renaissance. Bands like Iron Maiden, Mötley Crüe, AC/DC and Guns N’ Roses were releasing new studio albums and touring as if the 1980s roared on. The fact the Dwarfs had an entire album’s worth of “new” material in that style made it a timely release in 2013.

The songs show a good diversity of what the Dwarfs are capable of. The title track, a hammering, melodic number that also sounds great live. The album shows its mellow side with the slower, Led-Zeppelin-esque “The Crowd.” I wasn’t as crazy about “Down in Hollywood,” which seems like a throwback to the L.A. music scene at the time it was written.

Overall, Start at One is a solid album, and a good addition to the Dwarfs’ catalogue. With its eventual release, fans no longer had to chase down illegal copies.

Start @ One

Killer Dwarfs
Independent (2013) / EMP (2018)
Three and a half stars out of five

Metal Monday: Killer Dwarfs’ Method to the Madness

Posted on December 23, 2019December 22, 2019

Much (perhaps too much) has been written about the demise of heavy metal as a commercial force in the wake of grunge in the early 1990s. And certainly, a lot of 1980s cock-rock bands found themselves out in the cold in a post-Nirvana and Pearl Jam world. That was too bad for the Killer Dwarfs, who were always one of the smarter metal bands, in terms of lyrics and a down-to-Earth sense of who they were. Because Method to the Madness is one of their best albums. And for a long time, it was their last.

In addition to making a great commercial heavy metal album when much of the music industry was heaving in another direction, the band’s lineup changed with the departure of guitarist Mike Hall. Newfoundland’s Gerry Finn stepped into the role. From the blistering opening of album opener “Hard Luck Town,” he put his own stamp on the Dwarfs’ sound. The almost eerie bridge and languorous guitar solo add a rich dimension to the song.

It was one of the singles and shows what the Dwarfs do best: a madcap sonic assault with plenty of sing- (or shout-) along choruses. It’s still a staple of their live shows, so should you hear Russ Graham bellow to the audience, “What kind of a fuckin’ town is this?” — now you know the answer.

The rest of the album, a lengthy 13 songs, is a fitting cap to the Dwarfs’ initial burst of popularity. “Just As Well” is a grinding, rowdy fist-pumper. “Driftin’ Back,” is a nostalgic ballad that plays to the strengths of the Dwarfs’ acoustic range.

It’s not the only one, either — “Four Seasons” is a fantastic piece, about the inevitable passage of time, one that Graham would revisit on his 2013 solo acoustic album.

It’s not all soft and weepy, of course. The album’s title track, “Method to the Madness,” is another big, loud, slightly obnoxious tune, that kicks off with the truism “Opinions are like assholes / Everybody’s got one!/Turn the other cheek?/I don’t think so!” and boasts a chorus loud enough to fill a canyon, in the tradition of previous Dwarfs tunes “Stand Tall” and “Power.”

There’s not a lot of filler on this album, which is one of their longest, and also their strongest. “Give and Take” shows the Dwarfs’ propensity for layered, complex sound. I have to say, despite my fondness for Stand Tall, Method to the Madness is my favourite Killer Dwarfs studio album.

For some reason, “Doesn’t Matter,” from the Dwarfs’ previous album Dirty Weapons, was included at the end of the version I bought. It’s too bad, because while an excellent song, it feels tacked on after the fantastic album closer “Cowboys and Conmen.”

Unfortunately, the Dwarfs went on hiatus after Method to the Madness. That made one of their strongest and most musically diverse albums also one of their last… for a while.

Method to the Madness

Killer Dwarfs
Sony, 1992
Four and a half stars out of five

Metal Monday: Killer Dwarfs’ Dirty Weapons

Posted on December 16, 2019December 15, 2019

On Dirty Weapons, the Killer Dwarfs incorporate more range and diversity in their sound, and the album was a worthy follow-up to Big Deal. The image they portrayed was less goofball than on the previous two albums. But the seriousness that was always a part of their lyrics remained.

The eponymous album opener, “Dirty Weapons,” signals where the Dwarfs are headed. The hard-driving drums and thick guitar riffs underlay lyrics that focus on trust and mistrust in an age of decaying alliances and new technology.

The video matches that dissonance, with overtly edited images that look like cut-and-paste propaganda. (As well as the de rigeur late-80s heavy-industrial/post-apocalyptic set.)

That’s not to say there wasn’t a lot of range throughout the album, too. The heavy, grinding “Comin’ Through,” has a chorus with a screaming admonition to “Get outta my way.” In a similarly fast vein, the relentless riff-heavy “Nothin’ Gets Nothin’” sprints from start to finish.

But on the other hand, “Doesn’t Matter,” one of the album’s other singles, is more low-key, anchored by acoustic guitar riffs, meant for anyone feeling beaten down by circumstances. “It doesn’t matter at all/Where you’ve been or what you’re going through/We’ll make it through somehow,” sings Russ Graham, giving Jon Bon Jovi a run for his money in encouraging his listeners to buck up.

Many of the other songs show a lot of swagger, like the stomping, cocky “Appeal,” or the nimble, layered “Not Foolin’.”

Like other heavy metal bands at the end of the ’80s, the Killer Dwarfs showed a mastery of a big, commercial sound and pushed at the edges of the genre. Of course, with the explosion in popularity of grunge in 1991, gems like Dirty Weapons often get overlooked in hindsight.

Dirty Weapons

Killer Dwarfs
Sony, 1990
Four stars out of five